Wednesday, 10 February 2010


From the clutches of my latest downward spiral, unable to resign myself to my usual 'out of range' period, my mind has opted to cast itself backwards at inopportune moments. It started when I dusted off my old music that I'd not heard since I was 15. Then suddenly I've got Papa Roach, Korn and some old Placebo on my iPod and I'm trying to decide why I ever liked it, and why I still do. I've not heard the sounds of Follow the Leader for about 9 years. The layer of dust attached to it was testament to this. Yet despite the time lapse I find I still know all the lyrics. I'm able to shamefacedly run through the lyrics while Jonathan Davis accuses Fred Durst of "getting butt-fucked by your uncle Chuck". Apparently not content with this, my mind has resorted to sending me obscure memories too, seemingly at anyones whim but my own.

I'll be in class trying to concentrate and all of a sudden my mind will be bombarded by mental depictions of my friends attacking the ground of a car park screaming "fuck you mother earth", or the 'dead' pig on a field trip back in secondary school. But my favourite came along today in the terms of music (forgetting the fact that I became acutely aware of Freak Power - Turn On, Tune In, Cop Out yesterday - a 90s masterpiece). I sat in class this morning trying my best to pretend that the world around me was not happening and a few minutes into the lesson I got an image thrown into my head from primary school. Every day when my mum would drive me to school I would listen to Black Sabbath. At the time I think I was the only kid listening to that sort of thing. We'd rock into the church car park (yeah, I went to a COE school), and I'd be singing along to Sabbath Bloody Sabbath - because there were lyrics in it about seeing people burn, and at one stage you get to sing "you bastards" without getting in trouble for swearing.

It was great.

Why isn't life that simple these days?

Oh well. At least I'm not getting sent out of the church anymore.

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