Can we have a new villain please?

I understand the need to vilify something or someone, especially in the news - quite frankly I am a fan of it. Nothing gives me more pleasure than seeing Nick Griffin bitch and moan about being treated differently to everyone else in Britain, and make no mistake, he truly is a villain. However, I am bored of the villains dominating the headlines most recently.

Everyone knows that we all hate the banks right now, but Goldman Sachs really takes the biscuit. According to a recent Daily Mail article, they are accused of doing this quite literally - accused of taking food from the hungry and creating starvation and war, they really aren't faring well in the public eye.

Not that I have any sympathy. The bastard company gets almost £6bn in a pool for bonuses. Each Goldman bank worker will be taking home an average of £356,000 this year despite the company getting charged with a $650m fraud. So I have no sympathy. I especially have no sympathy for BP and their plunging shares and the billions they will have to pay out for the clear up of the 'worst ecological disaster in history'.

But I am bored now people - bring me a new super villain whom I can loath and detest. These ones have played out their purpose in my life and I no longer desire to hear about them.

Nor do I ever wish to hear about the iPhone 4 and its fucking 'death grip'. I like Steve Jobs and Apple, but I hate the iPhone and I'm bored of hearing about it all together. If I have to read another article on it I am going to take my mothers, tie it up in a burlap sack and throw it in the nearest river.

Bring me some new news please. Something interesting. Something I can enjoy. Something I can vilify.

Flame grilled whoppers for firemen all round!

For those of who don't know, the Wessex Foods factory responsible for the production of all the patties supplied to Burger King for the entire UK, has been destroyed by a large fire.

The fire took more than 100 firefighters 5 hours to rescue the douse the flames. I find this interesting on one level because I can chuckle because a lot of you are now going to be unable to get your Burger King fix for a while although they insist it won't affect production (*bull*).

I am intrigued though - once they had battled the blaze, were the firefighters allowed to take their pick of their favourite flame grilled whoppers?

Oh, and don't worry I can make light of the event because there have been no reported injuries. Yeah, I'm not being a dick and making crappy little jokes about something that's killed someone.

Even I'm not that mean.

I'm such a stalker

If you're reading this then the chances are that I stalk you on Facebook. or Twitter. Or Formspring. Or even Myspace. Oh yeah you can't hide from me, I know all about you - who you are, what you do, what you had for dinner last night and all about how drunk you got last weekend.

I realised today that I have been using Facebook as my link to the world. I now know that while I can't always find the time to contact someone or send an email that's quite as long as I would like to, I constantly keep tabs on them on Facebook. I check what they're up to to make sure they're alright and what-not.

As pleased as I am to feel like I am not neglecting people on purpose - only to the extent that I know what's going on, not that they know that I know - I can't help but think "wait a minute Joe, you're being a tad of a dick here - if you don't have time, make time."

So I shall from this point forward attempt to make more time to stay in contact with the people I care about - I publish here so that in 4 weeks time you can reprimand me if I have not lived up to this - as well as actually doing my uni work.

So my apologies to my neglected friends, but never fear, I have been stalking every move you make x