Today I reeled off a list of some of the things that make me just that little bit more fucked up than the rest of you. I do this every now and again because people will say things like "I don't know how anyone could not like you". I usually point out that it's more than fair and that in fact most people dislike me (which is fine because I inherently dislike people upon meeting them and I need to be shown that they are in fact likable).
So I point out that have been told I have Manic Depression but I refuse to take medication. That I have a list as long as your arm of things that cause me distress, that I have mild OCD, that I have difficulty trusting people, that I have had to deal with eating disorders and I can't use any toilet unless it has a flush mechanism (I don't know why). People smile awkwardly when I tell them these things and then they act differently around me, as I'm sure anyone reading this will. But today, for the first time I reeled off my list and my friend turned right around and said 'that's great. Those are all the reasons I like you. You're not boring. There's nothing more boring than the people who aren't like you'.
I have never been prepared for that.
It's rare to find a friend who is that willing to accept you like that.
Realising that you've got a friend who is willing to import you peanut butter to cheer you up when you're down, who puts up with all your bullshit and still helps out, who doesn't give a flying damn how fucked-in-the-head you are; is like finding £50 in a pair of old jeans, the best feeling in the world.
It's times like this that I take note and think 'that's it, they're suck with me for life now'.
In a good way
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Joe. I don't know whether to hug you or hit you.
ReplyDeleteYou're a nice looking kid. You're cute, funny, and you got a lot going for you. But like all easy going people, you're just asking to be taken for a ride.
As a blogger who blogs about loads of random crap, as someone who also suffers from paranoia, manic-depression, OCD (?) and a whole host of other bullshit neuroses, I feel the same way about myself. I never know if I want to kiss me or kill me.
I have compiled a list of people I hate. Hopefully by the end of the weekend I will have changed the way I feel about life and people in general, as at the moment everyone seems to be on the list with the exception of you and Jennifer Tippet. (Who knew?)
Anyway dude. Stop moping about and being a dozey cunt and get off your ass and do something cool. There's nothing worse than a good person sitting around in self-pity getting nothing done.
If all else fails to perk you up. Just do something dickish to your neighbour and have a little giggle. Leave a rude, mean and nasty comment on someone's River Online article for example. Just for your own sick and twisted amusement.
Thanks man, I'll take the hug over the hit any day though :P
ReplyDeleteI like the list idea. I think that when it's done you should have it tattooed all over and then people will ask "why is my name on your arm?" and you can say "because I hate you, and I never want to forget that".
The one perk of my job (beyond free rents) is that I can be a dick to customers because most of them start out being a dick to me first. So that does help a lot...