Saturday, 22 August 2009

There Is No God

At this very moment in time I am sat in a B&B in a place called Banff, Alberta in Canada. The B&B in question has been a huuuge letdown in terms of it's being shit when it was widely believed to be fantastic.

The saving grace being that it does indeed have wireless access so I can hassle all of you in my more bored moements at 6am your time. I don't even know what the time here is because I can't be fucked to keep changing my watch, all I know for sure is that it is somewhere between 10ish and 12ish. I can't be bothered to go venturing out into this house to find out.

Anyway, we're in a rather small area of town and it's full of tourist tat shops and shit like that aimed at us morons and our dollars. But what is astounding about this place is that about 80% of its population are seriously beautiful. I'm not talking a little bit, I am talking about stunningly gorgeous. It's not fair. At all. Where are all the people who look like this in England? Why can't we have people this amazing? And why the fuck are they all so friendly?

Because they are Canadians, that's why. They are inherently nice and somehow all genetically gorgeous. The other 20% of the town is comprised of the elderly and tourists. I haven't seen one uggo here other than when I accidentally caught sight of myself in a relective shop window. It is amazing. Upon thinking I was entering a small town in the middle of the Rockies I was more expecting something in between Deliverence and The Hills Have Eyes. So ultimatly I have concluded that there is in fact no God, or if there is, he's Canadian.

And he particularly dislikes us Brits.

I wish I was Canadian....but then again, who says I won't be one in the not-so-distant future?

Love and hugs from a shitty bed and breakfast in the mountains,

Bagman x

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